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1.
Air 04:29
There is a bruise on my shin in the place you kicked me Under the church pew, stifling a laugh through the eulogy There is a cloud over every conversation we have And it's painful I have a secret if you promise to not get angry (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) with me (i have a secret, i have a secret) (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) You said everything except for I'm sorry (i have a secret, i have a secret) And I think that's pretty fucked up (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) Changing is easy when you're the one asking (i have a secret, i have a secret) But otherwise it's tough (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) I need some air, air Air, Air I think I need some Air, Air So happily oblivious to all your surroundings I don't know (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) Some of us are trying to pay our debt to society I don't know (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) Maybe you'll learn to be honest in heaven (i have a secret, i have a secret) While you're going around kicking dandelions (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) And all I could think is "What did they ever do to you?" (i have a secret, i have a secret) (ur not gonna like it, ur not gonna like it) I need some air, air I think I need some Air, Air I think I need some Air, Air I think I need some doyouknowmei'mjackpandlofjackpandl'soriginalwhitefishbayinn60yearsagomyparentsstartedtherestaurantacrossfromtheoldwhitefishbayresortpeopleusedtobringtheirfamiliesouttherebyhorseandbuggyforaday'soutingitwasasimplerandlesshectictimetodayikeepthatfoodalivewithourfinefoodandfamilydiningcomebacktothegoodoldtimedaysatjackpandl'swhitefishbayinnoneasthenryclayandbringtheamericanexpresscarddon'tleavehomewithoutit I need some air, air I think I need some Air, Air I think I need some Air, Air I think I need some Air, Air I think I need some Air, Air Air, Air Air, Air
2.
bros 09:13
I woke up at 3am And I wasn’t sober yet And the song was playing that you played me on a drive so desolate On the edge of Yosemite Did you know all this was once below the sea? Did you know we spend a third of life asleep? Cresting hillsides from the passenger seat So you got a new guitar Would you write something for me? Would you write something for me? Or “Harvest Moon” on repeat? Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh When we wake up in the morning we’ll pretend that nothing happened We’ll go back to playing guitar We’ll go back to single mattresses But last night I could taste the guitar strings on his fingers Like a penny on my tongue With saliva on our cheeks and on our arms Just a kid too afraid to take his shirt off at the pool I just stayed in the shallow end We all stayed in the shallow end We never left the shallow end We all drowned in the shallow end We never left the shallow end We all drowned in the shallow end And there was water on my face, so you couldn’t see the tears And I held it against you 14 years Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh Our parents are still friends So I see him once in a while But we don’t talk about it, no It’s too recent The dust has settled What good would come from it? I don’t wanna dredge up the past So I keep telling myself “That’s what friends are for.” Pretending to be sleep walking so we could kiss in a dream Or were we just kidding ourselves? Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh Two brothers looking at the ceiling, oh We were pretending to be sleeping, oh
3.
I want to let my grudges go Make up with everyone I know I went online to find a frame today I've got a portrait here to hang Hurray, Hurray No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and We went to the Museum of Death The horror stole away my breath The sun is always setting somewhere The other day I found a gray hair No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and No more changes and I heard the first part of a joke And then I laughed before the ending Haha, Haha And then I laughed before the ending Haha, Haha And then I laughed before the e-----
4.
Well handing the keys to me Sister said that I could drive us home if I could start the car That's hard for an 8-year-old kid She laughed as I fumbled around with the pedals and knobs I used to think 20 was old But I got a little bit older I thought she held all the answers But she was just a kid but bigger Back to Seattle again You're third floor apartment is dressed in The Beatles Its walls are covered in posters and though I don't like to admit it I've always liked John more than Paul Well what a coincidence You said, "don't'cha know the Lord works in mysterious ways!" Well I was just packing my things to get up to leave But now maybe I'll stay I used to think 20 was old But I got a little bit older I thought she held all the answers But she was just a kid but bigger If you're going to town won't you please take me down If you're going to Strawberry Fields If you're going away in a couple of days I'll be right on your heels I used to think 20 was old But I got a little bit older I thought she held all the answers But she was just a kid but bigger Well isn't it strange to feel anything at all? Our bodies are television sets Our feelings are videotapes And without each other each one is useless And they're all collecting a layer of dust It's been years since any were played But if you take one of the shelf and into yourself It plays back the same way I used to think 20 was old But I got a little bit older I thought she held all the answers But she was just a kid but bigger
5.
It was an endless summer Another night of custard With my mother's mother I remember when When in the morning hours I could see her outline Waving on the shoreline Of Lake Michigan I see it in the water: a stone I'd like to skip She used to fill her pockets with the shells we'd find In the family album, the last time I saw her A daughter and her daughter knitting side by side When the leaves are changing and the wind starts to blow A shadow and her shadow are walking into town When the light is fading golden on the water And her silver dollar hair is falling down In Milwaukee winter when the wind blows colder The lake was frozen over where the shadows play But the ice was cracking underneath my mother The lake pulled her under and bore her away It was an endless slumber Another night of custard And we'll have another Before the lake dries out When the ice is melting And the sun arising I can hear her rising Somewhere in the house
6.
(lake story) 02:58
this really happened *see newspaper article*
7.
I spent a week on the pull out couch We spent a week cleaning out the house Emptying closets of everything Post-its on objects we'd like to keep To think I used to think A bed is just a place to sleep To think I used to think A home is just a place to keep your bed I woke up early in an armchair The smell of coffee coming up the stairs The kitchen table is where I found the letter that she never read So we buried it with her instead To think I used to think A bed is just a place to sleep To think I used to think A home is just a place to keep your bed
8.
fucking nice 01:20
When did you get so Fucking nice? Catching me by surprise Hammer that nail Fucking nice Good as new Do anything you want, eat anything you want Fucking nice It's alright Buy one get one free Fucking nice I'm all about it Blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah Fucking nice It's alright
9.
April showers they bring sweet May flowers But I wouldn't know I'm afraid to even leave my place I've been all alone I was walking in my neighbor's garden When I heard a sound Kids were screaming on the trampoline And they won't quiet down I've aged a lifetime in these fourteen weeks And sometimes I have to catch myself when I'm being mean I used to think that it was funny, but I'm not laughing anymore I'm just slamming my doors Yesterday I ran out of pages in my notebook Just last week I ran out of ink and my pencil broke Hope to hell the song would write itself, but I know it won't Strangled by my headphone wires wrapped around my throat I punish myself every time that I write a song --You fucking idiot--they'll be around after you're gone It's not funny, but I'm laughing off and on And once upon a time it was fun After dark meet me in the park With your Dixie cup Here he comes and he's seeing double With his fists balled up He crushed a tall can on his forehead and we begin We're throwing down beside the jungle gym But even so I never could stay mad at him So I just quit punching him to a pulp
10.
rules 03:07
Rules are for everybody else, but not you and me Or so I thought until I turned 23 I'm 27 now and I'm still learning 27 years and I'm still hurting--SO WHAT! Nobody's perfect But no one's expecting you to be perfect No one is asking you to work it all out All by yourself Yesterday we all were afraid to leave the house Now when I go for a run it's like everybody's out But everything is normal if you never ask questions Everything is waiting for you in heaven Well let's put that to the test Speaking of tests, when was your last one? I wanna see you, but I don't wanna kill anyone I'm starting to doubt my own intentions This conversation feels like a sentence for life But it isn't Maybe it's time to shut up and listen for once Maybe it's time to finally have some fun The cameras are off so you can stop pretending You give a shit about anybody but yourself You can drop the act now I'm starting to doubt myself Starting to doubt myself Starting to doubt myself Starting to doubt myself
11.
Pt. 1 The fireworks woke me up again At 2:37 this time And for an instant the corners of my bedroom Were flooded with dazzling light Don't scatter at the sound Don't you know we're trying to sleep? There's a car alarm somewhere in the distance Singing me back to sleep The chalk on the pavement--there since April Is starting to wash away There's a couple and a stroller Coming the other way Avert your eyes and cross on over So you won't have to pass But they're crossing at the same time So you just cross right back All of you Antisocialites Avert your eyes Avert your eyes There's a cat on a missing sign He's orange and white He's orange and white Teacher said, "Go make some friends!" And sent me out into the grass I just prayed no one would throw the ball to me 'Cause I'd have to throw it back Just another uncoordinated kid With his hands tucked in his pockets But you can't lose the game if you refuse to play So I just said, "Fuck it" All of you Antisocialites Avert your eyes Avert your eyes There's a cat on a missing sign He's orange and white He's orange and white All of you Antisocialites Avert your eyes Avert your eyes There's a cat on a missing sign He's orange and white He's orange and white There's a cat who comes around My backyard every day He doesn't like the fireworks either They make him run away We don't fight and we don't argue We just sing "Silent Night" Illuminated under moonlight Gazing up at the sky All of you Antisocialites Avert your eyes Avert your eyes There's a cat on a missing sign He's orange and white He's orange and white All of you Antisocialites Avert your eyes Avert your eyes There's a cat on a missing sign He's orange and white He's orange and white Pt. 2 Two brothers looking at the ceiling oh oh oh We were pretending to be sleeping oh oh oh Two brothers looking at the ceiling oh oh oh We were pretending to be sleeping oh oh oh Two brothers looking at the ceiling oh oh oh We were pretending to be sleeping oh oh oh
12.
vows 07:42
Ghosts might be real after all This house has been haunted since 2001 It makes me think of funerals and Frank Sinatra albums I forgive you for that summer you told me not to visit You were moving slower Entertaining was harder I just want to get to know you for myself Instead of what the family tells me Ghosts might be real after all Every Facebook memory cuts like a knife The picture of you sitting next to me at my cousin's wedding I'm so sorry for that summer in Tucson I stole food out of the refrigerator Spoiled my dinner And I know you worked so hard to put it together Ghosts might be real after all No more will we sit still No more will we sit idly by No more will we say goodnight without saying I love you No more will we hold grudges No more will we look the other way No more will we be late without calling ahead first No more will we say yes when we mean no No more will we say no when we mean yes No more will we cross the street without grasping hands first No more will we sleep without resting No more will we touch without feeling No more will we drink without toasting No more will we drink without toasting No more will we forget birthdays no No more will we fail to stay in touch No more will we fall silent when there's something unspoken You are a marvel What a miracle it is to be standing next to you

about

Act I

Air - Overture

bros - innocence lost

museum of death - shattered

a-kid (Role Model) - big sis played by bro #1, Alex played by bro #2

Act II

Lake Michigan - generational trauma feat. a shadow and her little shadow

(lake story) - two old brothers out on the porch

pull out couch - empty caverns

fucking nice - denial and distractions

Fourteen Weeks - the brothers turn against each other

Act III

rules - separation anxiety

Antisocialites Pt. 1 - the cat played by bro #1, Alex played by bro #2

Antisocialites Pt. 2 - bros forever

vows - an aspirational prayer

credits

released February 16, 2021

All music by Alex Waltz

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Youngest Sibling Los Angeles, California

I'm in your headphones at the airport

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